Saying yes to God’s call. Finding hope and healing through breast cancer.
As Sara was in her last days on earth, one of the last things she said to me was, “I want people to continue believing, trusting and having faith in God, as I have tried to be His disciple. But, she said, it’s not about me, it’s about Him. That is the message I want people to hear.
“Our message is not about ourselves. It is about Jesus Christ as the Lord. We are your servants for his sake.”
2 Corinthians 4:5
It was in that moment that I began to do more than just read Sara’s God inspired words and message. I began seeing and feeling God’s message through her. I saw the direct connections and wisdom that only comes from Him. I began to understand how she chose joy despite the emotional and physical pain she experienced.
I began a journey of experiencing this intimate relationship with Jesus that I longed for. The whispers of the Holy Spirit that I heard, trusted, and discerned to be from Him, not just my own wants and desires.
I heard a call from God on my own life. He put on my heart that just because Sara was no longer on earth physically, the God inspired message she began, didn’t have to end. He was asking me to pick up the message and follow Him.
I began walking a journey through the publishing industry that was only possible because of Him. I stepped out in faith and He put in front of me what I needed, when I needed it.
God was the key I needed to open the door to light and beauty!
In 2016 my family and I celebrated the release of Sara’s spirit led teaching in the book, Choose Joy: Finding Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts.
I began speaking and continuing to share the message that God called me to share. A message that the choices we make, make us. A message of how to choose joy when life hurts.
I am choosing to follow Him and say yes to His call for my life.
I had just began speaking and developing the choose joy ministry when I received a call that caught me off guard. The call was from my doctor with the message that I have breast cancer. In shock, disbelief, and with lots of questions, I had decisions to make. Decisions on treatment, surgery, and further testing.
Once again reeling in fear of the unknown, now my own mortality. Worried about my children, husband, and family. Trying to be strong for them. I didn’t want to cause them worry and fear. I was once again trying to control an outcome I had no control over.
God, what is the purpose of this set back? I am spreading His message, so why? Why? Why? Why?
This time, instead of falling down the dark hole and letting the door close and lock, instead of asking why, which left me in a state of being victim, I decided to change my perspective. Instead of why, I asked what and how. What do you need Lord? How can I serve?
It didn’t mean I wasn’t still overwhelmed and the emotion of fear didn’t creep in. What it did mean, was that I wasn’t in a locked dark hole that I longed to escape. In the midst of the hard, I still felt the peace, love, and joy of the Lord.
In those times of being overwhelmed, I would say Psalm 46:10 over and over again:
“Be still and know that I am God.“
Be still and know that I AM. Be still and know. Be still. Be.
God needed me to be still. He was working through me now, not Sara. I was hiding behind Sara’s story. It was time that I had an impact on the world with my own story. The sooner I trusted Him, the sooner the fall into the rabbit hole would stop and I began climbing out.
Like the veil that was torn as a result of Jesus’ death on the cross, I no longer needed to be torn between two worlds. Between her and God. I am a spiritual being sent here to live out a human existence. As a spiritual being, the only one I need to trust and have faith in, is God.
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