My my son Thomas, now 31, was maybe seven at the time. His partner-in-crime and cousin, Alex, was about eight. And the third amigo? He was in his 50’s. And their grandpa.
It was Memorial Day weekend. We were all at a cemetery next to the small country church my mom attended as a child. We were placing flowers next to the headstones of loved ones who had gone to heaven before us. As with every year, we walked around the cemetery. We tried to remember who was related to whom. We also tried to recall how they were related to us.
And off in the back corner huddled Dad with his two oldest grandsons. We could tell by the way Dad was standing. His hand gestures showed he was telling a big story. Believe me, those boys were paying close attention.
Before too long, Thomas came running over to me, declaring, “Mom! You aren’t going to believe it! Grandpa used to hide sunshine in these stones!”
We’d all heard the stories before. It didn’t take long to realize Grandpa had been telling inappropriate stories of his own youth. Stories to the youth whose ears were too young to be listening (according to me anyway).
The intricate tale Dad wove was of long ago. It was a time when alcohol was outlawed. People made their own brews in bathtubs and bottled up liquor on the sly. He spoke of secret stashes and horse riding. He included anything else he could to make his true story a little more lively.
Dad explained to these impressionable little lads that some of the headstones were hollow inside. He showed them the panels on the sides. These panels could be unscrewed. He told them about the times they would sneak into the graveyards. They hid their stashes of tub-brewed liquor inside the headstones of people who had long since left the earth.
He told them of moonshine.
Thomas told us of sunshine.
And none of us corrected him as we all scolded Dad and knew it would do no good.
My thoughts today are not of hiding the moonshine, but of hiding the “Sonshine.”
In January of 2017, my journey with breast cancer began. I don’t talk about the journey much, and I’m not sure why. I’m not good sharing about me as I really don’t like attention. The memories are definitely hard, but by not sharing, I am hiding the “Sonshine.”
By not sharing, I am hiding the opportunity to show you joy. The blessings that also comes from the difficulty. I am hiding the opportunity to disciple and share God’s goodness. Even in the most difficult times, He is good, all the time! He is the “Sonshine.”
By not sharing, I am not providing the opportunity to let you know that I am here to listen. I can pray, comfort, or be whoever you need, for whatever you may be going through. Mine happened to be cancer. Whatever yours is, I would like to share the hope and joy that is still possible, even when life hurts.
During the most difficult times in life, we may not always recognize the blessings. Burdens can make these blessings hard to see. It reminds me of the poem footprints.
FOOTPRINTS
One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”
He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you. Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”
During the hardest times in life, we must be intentional. Intentional in focusing on our blessings in the midst of the burden. We must be intentional because the blessings are often overshadowed by the burden.
In 2017 it would’ve been easy to let the world pass me by. I thought that if everything was going to be taken from me, I might as well act like it.
But my true intention in life is to be open to whatever God has in store for me. My biggest fear is that He has a purpose for me and if I’m not paying attention, I’ll miss it.
So I pray for guidance and pray that I can be intentional in all things. Through my breast cancer journey, God has showed me an important role. I can fulfill the role of an encourager. I believe in people when they don’t believe in themselves. I believe in God’s plan when others lose their faith. I encourage and, hopefully, leave someone feeling better than when I found them.
So, I pray that as you join me on this Choose Joy Adventure, you will be encouraged. Encouraged to seek out God in the blessings and the burdens. Trust Him even when He feels far away. Believe that He is not far away, but carrying you through it.
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. ~Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)
I pray the tales that we hushed dad from telling back then get told years down the road. That they will tell their own grandkids about their Grandpa Mike. How he weaved them stories of moonshine and filled their spirits with “Sonshine.”
I’ll spread “Sonshine” to each of you. I will do this through stories of what I have gone through. These stories show how my relationship with God has deepened. This deepening happens when we choose to open ourselves up to Him and each other.
With love and joy,
Laura