It is January and the temperature this week has been in the upper fifties! When that happens in Iowa, you must take advantage of it. So, I went on a walk and was praising God.
For some reason, I started thinking about something my dad use to say. Whenever we would get hurt, he would try to make us feel better by looking at our hurt and saying:
“You know what the good thing about this is, don’t you? It’s a long way from your heart.”
Then he’d laugh while trying to get me to laugh and think about anything else but my hurt. As I’m sure many of you can relate, those dad sayings were frustrating at the time.
Eventually, I understood his lesson behind the distraction. That no physical ailment could change my heart. That every hurt would pass and I would still be the same on the inside regardless of the outside.
I’ve had opportunity to put that saying to the test in my adult life, and I’ve realized something about Dad’s theory…
I realize that some hurts aren’t a long way from my heart. Some hurts reside there. But, they don’t have to change who I am inside.
They don’t have to change my faith.
Every lesson I learned before the hurt remains the same after.
Nothing is different. God is the same. Love is the same.
No matter how much my heart hurts.
I get to choose my perspective. I get to choose between faith or fear; victory or victim; joy or despair; bitterness or hope. It is my choice and what I choose will decide the healing of my heart.
Through the many hurts I have experienced, I have chosen to trust in Him. Trusting in Him, is an all or nothing decision. If I choose to trust Him, I can’t choose fear or bitterness. I can’t choose to be a victim or filled with despair.
It’s an all or nothing decision.
Going through divorce, cancer, and loss, didn’t change my choice to trust in Him. I know better, so I can’t pretend to be ignorant simply because my life was suddenly altered.
Even in the hardest times, I trust that God has never changed. His grace surrounds me every moment of every day. He knows all, sees all, and understands all. I trust Him with everything. I can walk through this life aiming to fulfill what I realize I may never understand.
This life may seem random to me, but it is not random to Him. And that is enough for me.
It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. ~Ephesians 1:11 MSG
I pray you know that you can make the choice for it to be enough for you too.
My my son Thomas, now 31, was maybe seven at the time. His partner-in-crime and cousin, Alex, was about eight. And the third amigo? He was in his 50’s. And their grandpa.
Dad, Thomas and Alex
It was Memorial Day weekend. We were all at a cemetery next to the small country church my mom attended as a child. We were placing flowers next to the headstones of loved ones who had gone to heaven before us. As with every year, we walked around the cemetery. We tried to remember who was related to whom. We also tried to recall how they were related to us.
And off in the back corner huddled Dad with his two oldest grandsons. We could tell by the way Dad was standing. His hand gestures showed he was telling a big story. Believe me, those boys were paying close attention.
Before too long, Thomas came running over to me, declaring, “Mom! You aren’t going to believe it! Grandpa used to hide sunshine in these stones!”
We’d all heard the stories before. It didn’t take long to realize Grandpa had been telling inappropriate stories of his own youth. Stories to the youth whose ears were too young to be listening (according to me anyway).
The intricate tale Dad wove was of long ago. It was a time when alcohol was outlawed. People made their own brews in bathtubs and bottled up liquor on the sly. He spoke of secret stashes and horse riding. He included anything else he could to make his true story a little more lively.
Dad explained to these impressionable little lads that some of the headstones were hollow inside. He showed them the panels on the sides. These panels could be unscrewed. He told them about the times they would sneak into the graveyards. They hid their stashes of tub-brewed liquor inside the headstones of people who had long since left the earth.
He told them of moonshine.
Thomas told us of sunshine.
And none of us corrected him as we all scolded Dad and knew it would do no good.
My thoughts today are not of hiding the moonshine, but of hiding the “Sonshine.”
In January of 2017, my journey with breast cancer began. I don’t talk about the journey much, and I’m not sure why. I’m not good sharing about me as I really don’t like attention. The memories are definitely hard, but by not sharing, I am hiding the “Sonshine.”
By not sharing, I am hiding the opportunity to show you joy. The blessings that also comes from the difficulty. I am hiding the opportunity to disciple and share God’s goodness. Even in the most difficult times, He is good, all the time! He is the “Sonshine.”
By not sharing, I am not providing the opportunity to let you know that I am here to listen. I can pray, comfort, or be whoever you need, for whatever you may be going through. Mine happened to be cancer. Whatever yours is, I would like to share the hope and joy that is still possible, even when life hurts.
During the most difficult times in life, we may not always recognize the blessings. Burdens can make these blessings hard to see. It reminds me of the poem footprints.
FOOTPRINTS
One night I dreamed a dream. As I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. “Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You’d walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”
He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you. Never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.”
During the hardest times in life, we must be intentional. Intentional in focusing on our blessings in the midst of the burden. We must be intentional because the blessings are often overshadowed by the burden.
In 2017 it would’ve been easy to let the world pass me by. I thought that if everything was going to be taken from me, I might as well act like it.
But my true intention in life is to be open to whatever God has in store for me. My biggest fear is that He has a purpose for me and if I’m not paying attention, I’ll miss it.
So I pray for guidance and pray that I can be intentional in all things. Through my breast cancer journey, God has showed me an important role. I can fulfill the role of an encourager. I believe in people when they don’t believe in themselves. I believe in God’s plan when others lose their faith. I encourage and, hopefully, leave someone feeling better than when I found them.
So, I pray that as you join me on this Choose Joy Adventure, you will be encouraged. Encouraged to seek out God in the blessings and the burdens. Trust Him even when He feels far away. Believe that He is not far away, but carrying you through it.
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. ~Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)
I pray the tales that we hushed dad from telling back then get told years down the road. That they will tell their own grandkids about their Grandpa Mike. How he weaved them stories of moonshine and filled their spirits with “Sonshine.”
I’ll spread “Sonshine” to each of you. I will do this through stories of what I have gone through. These stories show how my relationship with God has deepened. This deepening happens when we choose to open ourselves up to Him and each other.
Jesus and his disciples visit a village where Martha welcomes them into her home. Martha serves Jesus, but becomes distracted and asks Jesus to tell Mary to help her. Jesus responds, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her”.
Luke 10:38-42( NIV)
I have the spiritual gift of hospitality. I almost took my perspective of hospitality too far this Christmas. Which, is what makes me a Martha.
Last week, I wrote a post on “Surrendering our Moments.” In the post I talked about moments when life isn’t showing up how I would like. This Christmas, I almost let my gift of hospitality lead to disappointment. Christmas Eve did not turn out as I initially envisioned.
I love going with my family to the Christmas Eve church service. It has become our tradition. After the service, we would come home, share hors d’oeuvres, play games, and open one gift.
Just as in years past, I spend days preparing the perfect Hors d’oeuvres. Everything from scratch of course! It would be cheating to buy something frozen or prepared by the store. At least that’s how my hospitality brain works.
Christmas eve day, was spent getting everything set up. The tables looking perfect. With just the right decorations and placement of dishes. Lighting the house so it felt inviting and placing candles to show the perfect ambiance.
Let me set the stage a little more for you. Christmas eve of the past was mostly adults. This year, I knew that Christmas eve would include my one and three year old grand kids. I planned for that as well.
I made hors d’oeuvres that included homemade popcorn chicken as well as pull apart pigs in a blanket. I also pulled out the bible stories book from when my kids were little. We were going to read the Christmas story and it would all be just like a Hallmark movie.
NOT!
My daughter in law and her parents were involved in both Christmas eve services. This meant they wouldn’t get to the house until 7:30. So, I had to adjust a bit. The grand kids would be hungry and would be too tired by 7:30. So, I began heating up the food I knew they would like and feed them early.
Needless to say, they didn’t want what was prepared. Made from scratch was not the food they were typically used to. Which I should’ve known since my own kids only liked Kraft mac and cheese. The kids wanted to play and were excited about all the activities of Christmas!
I began feeling a bit overwhelmed.
What I am proud to say, is that I showed up and shifted my perspective!
I knew that how I perceived the moment would be my reality. I wanted my reality to be filled with joy, blessings, and wonderful memories.
I let go of the perfect table setting and ambiance. I put all the food on the table and told everyone to just help themselves. I played with the grand kids and joined the conversation. We looked at pictures of past Christmas’ and reminisced on the joy filled memories.
Now, I also didn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, as the saying goes. I also saw the love in the details.
Love was shown in the time I spent to make everything beautiful for the beautiful people I love. How I took joy in making everyone feel special. With just the right decorations and placement of dishes. Ensuring the lighting in the house was perfect, which made it feel inviting. Placing candles to create the perfect ambiance.
The point wasn’t to show off my pretty things or to show people what I could do. But to show the affection I feel for each of those who showed up to celebrate Jesus with me.
I shifted my perspective. My perspective wasn’t one of having everything perfect for them. My perspective was the joy I had for three days of preparation, showing the love I have for them.
I opened my eyes to see the blessing in the midst of the rubble. He changed my heart. He created that desire in me to let go of what I perceived to be the perfect Christmas. He instead created a desire in me to see that I already had the perfect Christmas.
I learned first hand what Jesus was saying to Martha. I also learned that it wasn’t about what I displayed for them. It was how I showed them love.
I will always treasure the memories I shared this Christmas with those I love. The joy I experienced in the preparation and the love I felt this Christmas will stay with me forever.
I pray your Christmas was filled with joy and love filled memories too.
As I prepare for Christmas , I am reminiscing on Christmas’ past. My parents were the king and queen of making special memories that I will cherish forever!
If I had to choose my absolute favorite part of our family Christmas, it would hands-down be our yearly Nativity play.
We had a beautiful baby Jesus that came from a church’s nativity scene after it had closed. It used to sit in our curio cabinet, and was so pretty with the lights shining on it. It became awfully tempting to open the glass doors just to touch it. In fact, there were times I would see one of the kids gently holding the precious treasure that was supposed to be left alone.
When my kids, nieces, and nephews were little, dad built a small manger to hold the baby Jesus. While mom read the Christmas story, the little ones would each have a role and act out the story.
The first year, my oldest nephew Alex had the big job of carrying in baby Jesus. He made sure at the appropriate time he would lay baby Jesus in the manger filled with hay. As years went on, the role of carrying in Jesus went to the next in line according to age. Each year, the plays also became a little more detailed.
Costumes were made and the acting sometimes became more dramatic. Little kings kneeling prostrate on the floor (with no prompting from the adults, mind you… maybe a few chuckles but no prompting). It became a very big deal for the sweet children, and the adults! Often during the year there would be mention of who was in charge of the baby Jesus that Christmas.
Christmas can also become a time when I have moments when life just isn’t showing up how I would like. As I reflect on the blessing of these memories, I also feel bouts of sadness.
The kids have grown and now have families of their own. It’s rare that we are all able to gather together. I have lost my dad and youngest sister Sara to Heaven.
I long to make those kind of memories for my kids and grandkids. The difference for me, is that they are spread out in Iowa, Texas, and Florida. In my longing, I find sadness creeping in and I am not living in the moment. The moments filled with blessings.
I’m sure we all have had moments when life just doesn’t show up how we would like or envision. I think it also safe to assume at times, it feels like more than just moments!
Whatever I am struggling with, how I choose to look at the moments ultimately determines how I live my life. How I enjoy the moments.
Our life is precious. A gift from God. Living in gratitude and surrendering our struggles to God are the foundation of creating moments of joy.
I know it is easy to focus on what is going wrong. Especially when those things going wrong are the biggest part of our moments.
I have found the most powerful way to fight the negative perspective is to first show up. Show up with a goal to not focus on what is going wrong but focus on what is going right.
Show up and shift your perspective.
How I perceive my life and life moments becomes my reality. How I see things becomes my truth.
What is your reality? What is your truth?
Whatever you are struggling with, let me remind you, if you are still here on earth, you have a purpose to fulfill. You have memories to create and blessings to share.
This Christmas, I am remembering to see the blessings of the memories I have. The blessing of having those I have lost in my life for the time I did, and the blessing of being reunited with them in eternity. I am also going to create new memories with those I am blessed to share Christmas with in the moment. Memories that not only I will treasure, but they will treasure too.
People will respond to me based on the attitude and perspective I bring to this life. The attitude and perspective that I bring to each new day will create the experience of our moments and ultimately the moments of those I come in contact with.
I am learning to appreciate the chaos as well as the simplicity of my moments. That being thankful in everything is more important than being thankful for something.
The first step is to show up and ask the One who gives me everything to help me see everything the way He sees everything.
I pray that God will help me make that choice. I ask Him to open my eyes to see the blessing in the midst of the rubble. I ask Him to change my heart. To change my vision. To create the desire in me to be joyful when I am feeling lonely or longing for what was.
I surrender my moments to the one who has the ultimate plan for my life. He is the biggest Christmas blessing of all!
Friends, join me in looking for the blessing in the hay!
I personally know it is possible to choose joy even when life hurts. It is a choice, and a choice that is possible when I fully surrender my life to God. Surrender and trust, without conditions.
I found joy in Him. I chose Him.
You see, behind each door we choose to open, there is a place, a journey, just like the long hall in Alice in Wonderland. When we choose a door to walk through, we are responsible for the outcome that is behind that door. God blessed us with the gift of free will, we make the choice.
We can choose the journey with or without God. There are going to be times of joy and peace as well as pain and difficulty behind any door we choose, and we can walk it with His guidance or the world’s guidance.
Each of these times in my life, I found myself in a place of in between. A place of no longer and not yet. There is so much unknown in the place of in between, and the unknown can be our biggest enemy sometimes. The thing we put most of our focus on and our energy into trying to control. The “what ifs” take over our thinking and anxiety is out of control.
I have learned the importance of fully living in the middle of the hard, the here and known. Because if this is my life, if this is where I am at, then this is where God is at too.
I choose to take one step at a time with Him in the in between. I choose to be brave with Him. I choose to connect with Him. I choose to walk with Him. I choose Him. It is only with Him that I find the peace in my heart needed to accept and trust the journey He has laid out before me.
I have awakened and my worlds are no longer torn. That doesn’t mean there aren’t difficulties, heartache, and at times I start to fall down that hole. The difference is, I have learned to quickly stop and change my perspective. Seek Him and choose to not be a victim of the circumstance.
I have learned that when I choose to do this life with God, I no longer fall to the bottom of the hole where I feel torn!
For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light.
