Tag: grief

  • Where is God in the Shadows?

    Where is God in the Shadows?

    Jesus did not come to explain away suffering or remove it. He came to fill it with His presence. ~Paul Claudel

    We have many questions when we face difficult and tragic situations. One of the biggest is: “Why do bad things happen to good people.”

    A natural response when bad things are happening, is why? If God is good and all powerful, why doesn’t He stop the pain and suffering?

    God sits with us in our sadness. Accompanies us through the valley of the shadows. Holds our hand in our moments of fear.

    Suffering will look different for every believer in Jesus Christ. However, the desired end result should look the same when following Christ. 1Peter 4:12-13 MSG says, 

    “Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.” 

    When I choose to let Him, God fills me with His presence in my spirit. I can feel strong in the middle of that weakness.

    Emotionally, it’s called a pit of despair for a reason. A hole can be dug inside us so deep that it seems everything good has been excavated from our lives.

    We all experience it in different ways. You may have lost someone you love. Or you may have found yourself in situations you never dreamed you would be facing.

    A pit is dug. And despair is the first visitor that wants to knock at your door.

    It’s in those moments I pray for God to get me out of His way. It’s those moments when I start praying for Him to change my heart for what He wants. Pray that I can be aware of the opportunities He has planned for me.

    It’s taken me a while, but I realize, this life is not about me. It’s not about my wants and desires. It is about Him. It’s about me saying yes to what He can do through me.

    It requires me to trust Him completely. It doesn’t change the loss. It doesn’t improve my earthly situation.

    But it does change the suffering.

    It allows me to not answer the door to despair and instead invite His presence into the pit. The pit looks jagged and deep. It turns out to be a God-shaped hole in the center of our beings. A hole that is dug by circumstances and choices, and we can choose to fill it with His grace.

    We all live in a place of unknown realities. He has ensured that we don’t have to suffer.

    We get to choose whether to trust Him. Then, ask Him to show us how He wants to use us.

    Then, say yes.

    With love and joy,

    Laura

  • Embracing Thanksgiving with a Grateful Heart

    Embracing Thanksgiving with a Grateful Heart

    As the Holiday season begins, families across the United States gather around the table to share a bountiful feast, warm conversations, and cherished moments. Thanksgiving is a time honored tradition reminding us of the importance of gratitude, love, and connection.

    For those navigating grief, loss, or hardship, Thanksgiving can be a painful reminder of what’s missing.

    I want to acknowledge the complexity of emotions that come with celebrating Thanksgiving during difficult times and offer words of encouragement to help you find gratitude in the darkness.

    It’s important to recognize that sorrow and gratitude are not mutually exclusive. You can experience both at the same time. It is okay to not be okay.

    Beyond the delicious food, festive decorations, and football games, Thanksgiving is a celebration of gratitude. It’s a time to appreciate loved ones.

    Cherish the people who have and do enrich your life. The ones who support you through thick and thin, and bring joy to your heart. When those loved ones are a memory, share the stories and memories. Have gratitude for the time you did have with them and the difference they made in your life.

    Thanksgiving on my family’s farm were always times filled with laughter and joy. We played tons of games, ate and laughed till our stomachs hurt, and enjoyed time with family and extended family.

    Then, within one year of each other, we lost my dad and sister Sara. They were both individuals who filled so much space in a person’s heart and soul, because they did everything with their whole heart and soul.

    So how did I find gratitude in a time of sorrow?

    Well, I have a lot of arguing between my head and my heart. Does that ever happen to you?

    I long for their hug, their conversation, their wisdom, their love (that is my heart speaking). Then my head argues with my heart. “You know they are much happier. How selfish of you to want them back for your own needs. They are still with you in spirit.”

    So, how do I get my head and heart to agree?

    First I go to God. He knows my past, my present, and my future. He is surprised by nothing. He is with me and never leaves me, even when I feel alone. He holds me up, even when I think I’m standing on my own two feet. He is good, all the time.

    Then I praise Him through it, because gratitude and praise unlock the fullness of life.

    Gratitude without expressing it is like having a present and not opening it.

    ~ William Arthur Ward

    I intentionally change my perspective. I express gratitude for all the years I was blessed to share my life with them. I am thankful for their joy and laughter. Thankful for the twinkle in their eyes, the dance in their step, and the song in their voice. I am thankful for their wisdom and teaching.

    I miss everything about them and am thankful that they lived big, played big, worked hard and loved even harder. I am also grateful that God chose me to be their family. What an honor.

    “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

    Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

    So, this Thanksgiving, when you are dwelling on sorrow or hurt, when your head and heart are arguing, think instead of something for which you are grateful. I promise you, it’s as simple as that.

    You have to choose gratitude today and again tomorrow. Before you know it, you will feel the joy in your heart.

    P.S. So, why do I keep arguing with myself? I think it’s because I am jealous. God has them now. I am thankful He shared them with me as long as He did, my selfishness wanted them longer.

    Happy Thanksgiving, friends! I am grateful for you all.