Have you ever noticed that sometimes the more you search for something, the further away it gets?
Sometimes, with the best of intentions, we go to God looking for answers… for direction… for guidance… and we get…
Nothing.
We get silence. We can be quiet. We can listen. We can be silent while screaming inside at the top of our lungs, “WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!”
We do all we are supposed to do. We follow the rules…pray, sit in silence and yet we get… nothing. We can’t seem to find Him.
I wonder if I am trying too hard. If I should stop looking. And start acknowledging.
I start thinking God has gone somewhere. That He has fallen silent and I am doing something wrong. That I need to search for Him and find Him. But really, I don’t think either of those things are true. I think I am just waiting for Him on my terms instead of His.
I want the control. I want answers, direction, resolution. I want the warm and fuzzy feeling that I think faith should give me.
I have grown up to believe that if I follow the rules of praying I will get the answers. Of course, the answers in my time and in my way.
I long to know what He knows. I wait to hear the definitive word so I can step ahead in His good grace. And when He is silent, I think I’ve missed something. And I once again, think I need to find Him.
Do you notice the control theme in there?
I want. I look. I expect.
The other day, I had one of those “Aha” moments when I was driving home. It was an overwhelming day, there wasn’t one thing that seemed to go right. I was tired of the number of things that seemed to not be going how I wanted them to. In the middle of these thoughts, I began taking in the beauty of His creation. I began focusing on all that I am grateful He has given me.
And then I felt calm, grateful, and serene.
I had been frustrated, feeling He was nowhere near me and silent. When I changed my thoughts and perspective, I got what I was looking for. Those thoughts, turned my attitude and feelings on a dime.
And it was then I realized:
I don’t need to find God. I just need to acknowledge Him.
I thought He was silent because He wasn’t giving me the answers I was looking for. He wasn’t speaking to what I wanted Him to speak to. I knew what I needed and what I wanted and He wasn’t providing.
He wasn’t under my control.
But He hadn’t gone anywhere. I was the one who had moved. I moved from a place of being a servant. I moved to a place of wanting Him to serve me on my time and in my way.
In that moment I stopped trying to find Him. I found the creator of the Universe who I thought had somehow disappeared. He is EVERYWHERE. I was just looking for what I wanted instead of what He was offering.
I need to stop looking for Him and started acknowledging Him.
Stop waiting for my answers and started walking ahead in faith. Stop waiting for Him to give me what I want ahead of time. Trust that He will give me what I need when I need it.
I don’t need to pack my bag before the trip He has called me to. I need to travel the road He has called me to and trust He will provide for me as I go. I need to acknowledge Him along the path.
I realize that He doesn’t have to speak to be heard. I need to start listening with something other than my ears. I need to listen to Him with my heart and soul.
Walking in faith is hard and scary, and I can be okay with that.
Because hard and scary is His specialty.
He has called me to focus on the word serenity this year. Serenity is a state of inner peace and mental clarity that is independent of external events. It’s a feeling of calm and tranquility that can help avoid stress.
“I leave the gift of peace with you, my peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts, instead, be courageous.
John 14:27 (TPT)
My job is to stop looking and start acknowledging. It is there I will find the serenity that comes from Him.
What is God calling you to this year? Will you join me in acknowledging Him along the way?
With love and joy,
Laura







